I know that sounds like a kinky version of beginning of The Houseslaves of County Cambridgeshire, (which I’d happily watch if it were real), but it got me thinking about D/s relationships and “characters” in my work in progress (Project Slave) and how there’s a fine line between being made to do something that you don’t want to do and being made to do something totally against your will.

We all have things we don’t want to do;  from last night’s washing up (ahem!) to being told by a Dominant to go upstairs and prepare for a discipline spanking just because he can. I mean, who really wants to do either of those if given the choice to say no? Do we? Yes. Why? Because we have consented to take on certain responsibilities within our relationships from the very beginning, and these come in many forms, employer/employee, student/teacher, a vanilla relationship, or uber kinky one. To name but a few.

All relationships rely on trust, love, roles and the sharing of duties. Kinksters just do the role negotiation in a slightly different way, that’s all. At times some limits are stretched and subs are pushed out of their comfort zones, but this must not in anyway be seen as doing something against their will. Quite often all it takes is a little encouragement, some positive reinforcement, or even the threat of a whip to break through any barriers, (whatever works, right?) but again, and I cannot stress this enough, this would have already been discussed, dissected, worked out in detail and proudly put into a loving D/s couple’s contract when agreed upon, so there is no mistaking what either responsibilities are for both parties. If only marriage would come with a contract like this!

But doing something against your will, in real life, not in a D/s contract or in your everyday vanilla life, is a big no-no. Quite often these fall outside of the hard/soft limits previously discussed, or are imposed on you by outside sources. An example of the latter is meeting a Dom who thinks that every sub he meets is going to fall down on their knees and obey him. Where what he really needs is a lesson on how we can tell fake Doms from a thousand paces. You’re an idiot You just don’t know it.

Having said that, meeting a crap dom, or being forced to do something against your will,  in a story – is kind of cool – in a damsel in distress kind of way, of course.
<Insert evil grin here>.

By the way, my story, Project Slave, is going well. Thanks for asking! 🙂  It’s very bitty, as I do not write in a linear fashion. If I think of a scene, one the book really must have, I write it – even if I do not know how I’m going to get there. Don’t ask me how, but it works. Like someone else is magically telling me what to write. But that’s a completely different story about writing in the flow…

Life is about the choices we make. Or don’t.

I like my choices. Do you?

Hugs, see you later!