I Sucked… (#Goals and #GoodGirlPoints)

Last week, all my goal setting absolutely sucked. Well, my goal setting didn’t, but my ability to achieve my goals did! So today I’ve really made the effort to get some jobs done so I don’t feel too guilty to write and of course I can avoid the nasty and viscous and unrelenting Mr. Paddle.


Mine is black, but just as painful!


And what do you know? I did it. I achieved all the goals I set out for myself this morning. And OMG I’m so pleased with myself I do feel a whole load of good girl points coming my way very, very soon.

I’ve a day off work today, so instead of getting up between 10.00am to midday, (when usually it’s 5.00am for work) I forced myself to get up with the idea of getting everything ready this morning, so this afternoon I can write. So I am actually very pleased with myself, and patting myself on the head as we speak, because I got up pretty early for my day off and have done all this:

1. Walked the dogs

2. Cleaned out the rat cage! Not a quick job, I can tell you. My little ratties are pampered Princesses (a little like me), and live in a five foot tall rat palace (not like me – unless you count my naughty cage, but fortunately I don’t live in that). Needless to say they are very happy ratties right now, just like me.

3. I’ve done two loads of washing.

4. Tidied my bedroom.

5. Tidied the kitchen and shined my sink (that’s a FlyLady thing).

6. Decluttered enough to fill a bin bag full.

7. Hoovered the whole house.

8. Put the crockpot on.

9. Had lunch. Drunk my water. (Hey, this could count as two!)

10. Written this week’s goals on my whiteboard.

11. Almost finished writing this blog post. (Although now you are reading it, I can safely say I can tick that job off my list, too!)

12. Tidied my desk so I can now write.

13. And most importantly, avoided Mr. Paddle!

All that’s left is to write. Which I am going to do now.

Oh, and for those of you who think, hell I do that everyday. I don’t. I’m no domestic goddess, and I am not a natural “Domestic Service Maid”, in fact I think I am actually allergic to housework. So, as you can tell this is an amazing feat for me. There’s always something else I’d rather be doing…

Funny how the threat of the nasty Mr. Paddle can work wonders on my motivation!

Now to write! Speak to you soon.


Yep, that's me!





Everyone’s A Winner, Baby!

Hi Everyone!

The official winner of my donated prize to Brita Addams’ Birthday Treasure Hunt is…


 Brandi Dagwan

I have already emailed Brandi and await her three magic words.
Meanwhile, I was going to pick out another name from those commenting on my blog on my birthday, as an additional prize. But since I am writing a collection of flash fiction stories and I thought your suggestions were great, I am going to make all the commentators winners and write a spanking new flash fiction piece for all — as a big thank you for contributing to my inspiration.
So stay tuned…
Yep, that's me!

Birthday Spanking: Give Me 3 Words and I’ll Write You A Story… Contest #BritaAddams #TreasureHunt

SPANKINGSWell, hello there!

Today I am celebrating the birthday of my friend and author Brita Addams by joining in with her BIRTHDAY BASH and Treasure Hunt.

To play, it’s easy! Just pop over to Brita’s website to find out what to do and see the list of participating authors and bookish people who are joining in. Many of us, are offering extra prizes during the treasure hunt when you visit out blogs and leave a comment.

For my “Birthday Bash” donation I thought it would be fun (and slightly mental) to offer to write one (lucky?) winner a short “spanking” flash fiction story using three words of your own choosing.  All you need to do is comment on this blog post today, Tuesday 17th February to be in for a chance. Please leave your choice of three words when you comment!

Tomorrow I will put your names into a hat, pull out a winner and announce it here. And then you can whip me in to action and I’ll get writing for you.

Please be patient if you do comment as I am at work until late all day (and part of the night), so if you have never commented here before your comment will need to be authorised and will therefore take longer to appear here.

By the way, it is also my birthday today, too! Woo hoo!

Looking forward to seeing what you come up with. Bites lip.

Have fun doing the treasure hunt over at BritaAddams.net and I will see you later!

Birthday spanks, Spankos!

Yep, that's me!

Fifty Shades of Grey – Review #50shadesofgrey


OMG! Where do I start?
I will try to keep this short, but hell, there’s just no way that’s going to really happen.  I’m lying, okay?
Also, there may be a few spoilers, but honestly, do you care? You’ve probably read the book anyway, so already know what is going to happen. If you haven’t put your blindfold on now.
On one hand it was good to see some kinky implements getting a dust down and a public viewing. Voyeurism is a wonderful thing. This film gives erotica authors hope that smut is still able to pull in the crowds worldwide. Sex sells, right? You just need to look at her book sales to see that… (Ahem! Say no more!)
On the other hand it was like watching a slightly sexier, but flat, version of Bridget Jones’ Diary with no laughs and a stilted. if not gloomy, atmosphere.
I understand he’s “50 shades of fucked up” and she’s a confused vanilla woman who loves him but not his kinks. To have him she must learn to like being his submissive and sign a contract allowing him to do what he wants to her (with the exception of vaginal and anal fisting –.a slightly edgier slant that would have worked better if she had not scribbled it off her hard list – *laughs*). So, yeah, it’s not, as they said in the film, going to be a hearts and flowers relationship.   But the way it was portrayed, I felt something was missing and totally wrong.
For a man with so much self control in ‘everything he does’ he appeared to have a distinct lack of it.  Plying her with alcohol to sway her judgement when discussing his contract, when one of his rules was not to drink much. He is easily angered and jealous; yes it is controlling but not in a safe, sane and consensual way. He even gives her an ultimatum to sign or leave instead of discussing it like two mature adults entering a BDSM relationship. In fact it paints BDSM in a rather bad grey light where nothing is black and white and their whole relationship is one hell of a huge grey area. He looked more abusive considering she was just an inexperienced virgin in the first place. It implies that he is a bad boy only because he didn’t have a very good start in life and that “normal” people would not consider this type of relationship. This is not what a BDSM relationship is all about. It’s quite misleading.
And I hate to sound so shallow, but there just wasn’t enough sex either. Nothing shocking. Nothing twisted. Nothing that would fit the dangerous, very rich but fucked up business man that Mr Grey is supposed to be when satisfying his own needs in private. It was all very ‘married couple experimenting in the bedroom’ stuff, albeit it in a “playroom” setting.
When he said, “I don’t make love, I fuck, hard” my ears pricked up, I sat forward and my stomach fluttered. Maybe he was going to be a delightfully deviant dominant with a few shocking, perhaps disturbing twists that I could talk excitedly on this blog about, after all.
No suck luck!
If “the worst he can do” is beat my bottom with a belt 6 times and make me count each whipping, in exchange for my own room in his penthouse, a personal driver/taxi service, helicopter rides and my own dungeon with lots of vicious toys and of course lots of money to buy more – oh, and not to forget total control and devotion forever more –  then I’d happily bend over before breakfast and after tea and perhaps lunch time when he came home for dinner, too, for a play with his toys. And I had a great childhood.
Toys, I hasten to add, Mr Grey doesn’t really know what to do with, because when Anastasia asked him to do the worst he could to her, he didn’t pick up anything more frightening than his own belt and looked thoroughly ecstatic with his choice to boot. Really, Mr Grey? You are supposed to be intimidating!
To be honest I think there is more chance of “normal people” being scared off by this type of relationship, than encouraged to try it out! After all it implies we are all weirdos with absolutely no self control.
I didn’t like as Jamie Dornan as Mr Grey, he just didn’t seem like Mr.Right to me. But Dakota Johnson  who plays Anastasia was a very good choice for the role and at least she made me happy.
Oh, well. Maybe I should bite the gag and read book two, just to see what to expect from the second film. Or maybe I should just stop being so curious and give up all hope now?
Could Mr Grey really get kinkier and keep his emotions intact when Anna finally accepts her mission and takes her medicine like a good girl?
Will he finally learn the meaning of “after-care” by the next film?
Or am I expecting too much?
Should I just enjoy it for what it really is, a “Bridget-Jones-Meets-the-Wrong-(kind-of-Abusive)-Guy” romance film with a “will they won’t they” slant that has a little more nudity than normal?
So many questions, so few answers.
So many tantalising torturous instruments on display and yet so many of them still gathering dust.
Ok, blindfold off.
Spanking hugs,
Yep, that's me!
P.S. Sorry about the formatting of these paragraphs, I could not get it to look right…